I love those a-ha! moments when things you know and think and feel shift around and something gels or clicks and you suddenly have a new thought or a new meaning to an old thought. When I was writing my affirmations out this morning, the above hit me right in the heart. Love is a verb, something you DO. When you love someone, it’s not just, nor even primarily, about the feeling. There is action involved. You do things that benefit them in big ways and little ways. You give them a compliment, you are a shoulder for them to cry on, you cheer them on in their endeavors.
The very same holds true for loving yourself. You can’t just tell yourself that you love yourself. It’s not a proclamation that makes it so, or a feeling that will spring into being and sustain istself. You have to do things for yourself that bring actual benefit to yourself, both big and small. That’s what self-care is all about. Additionally, that’s why self care should be guilt-free. I know from experience that this is the tricky bit sometimes.
Listen. When you are giving someone a hug or some other kind of loving touch, you obviously don’t feel guilty about it. It is simply an expression of your love for them. Likewise, if you need to be touched, there should be no guilt associated with getting that for yourself. Get a massage or a hands-on Reiki treatment if that’s fulfilling to you. If the money is not available for that, ask a friend or loved one for a neck rub or a hug. Some of you may be protesting that even that is out of reach for you. While I believe this is actually out of reach for only a small fraction of the people who might read this, if it does actually apply to you, it’s time to think outside the box. Volunteer at a nursing home or similar place where there are people who would be overjoyed to hug you. Stand on the corner with a free hug sign.
My point here is DO WHAT IT TAKES! Love yourself. Find a way to fill yourself up. It doesn’t have to be about hugs. That was just an example. Spend some time figuring out what makes you feel loved and then make it happen for yourself!!!
When you are filling your own cup with the actions of love, every part of your life will improve. You will have more to give, you will feel better, and thus view life from a more optimistic place. Don’t even get me started on all the benefits of optimism. Maybe another day, another blog. Haha.
For now, I’m going to go love myself by making a healthful breakfast.
Namaste, my people.