On our pages and websites, etc., we are given little sections to write “about me.” I have one on this site, of course, and I’m accurately represented. But if you really want to know about me, here’s something I posted two years ago inspired by a post by a friend of a friend.
“A beloved friend wrote an incredibly brave post of self-declaration and worth earlier today. She closed it with, “So, my friends, who are you, truly??” And so, my dear heart that I’ve known for so very long… in solidarity, I will answer you. My response will not equal yours in bravery, but it has helped me remember who I am. And I thank you.”
So began a post I just read in these wee early hours of the morning. If her declaration was less brave than her friend’s, mine will be as weak tea compared to hers. I don’t yet have my footing in some areas of my life. Life is fluid and so perhaps I never shall. Even what I have to say may cause me to find fewer friends and more judgment on my page when I wake for the second time this day.
I am a woman who lives in a world of whirling sensations: emotions, colors, sounds, scents, textures. Any or all of these can alter my mood in a heartbeat. I have been called hyper-sensitive as an insult and the term still burns, but I accept it as a brand on my heart and wear it now for anyone to see because I believe the hyper-sensitive are no less valuable than those who are extremely gifted in other types of intelligence.
My religion is private, not so much because I don’t care to explain it, but because I believe deep down everyone’s religion happens in the private parts of our being. Though some preach from the rooftop, even they have a silent relationship with their beliefs, their thoughts, hopes, doubts, fears and expectations. If you must know the very basis of my religion, it is that love is the key to everything. I do not claim to be perfect on my path of love. Echos from my past sometimes make me as bitter and judgmental as the people I find myself judging. My desire to act out of love sometimes leads me to hold on when I should let go for people to find their own strength.
Politically I speak very little because I see two sides to most coins. Personally I am a pacifist and violence and anger damage me. Sometimes the damage is superficial, sometimes deep. It has manifested itself as simple tears, as major depression, as PTSD and as physical ailments. That being said, I also believe that there are people who are made for battle, for lack of another term. Ideally, these people are our defenders and stand up for people who cannot stand up for themselves. Ideally, they do no harm to those who are doing no harm. I believe in balance and do not think it is possible to for the pacifist to exist without having a warrior as well.
I believe in doing everything you can to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Sometimes this means taking a second job and sometimes it means taking a helping hand. Sometimes you must be strong and deal with more than you think you can bear, and other times it means you must lower your defenses and accept that you cannot do everything alone, nor should you have to.
I believe quite strongly in taking care of Mother Earth. I think the earth will live on despite what we do, but we will not if we don’t give back. I fear our dependence on fossil fuels could be the end of us one way or another.
I believe that one person makes a difference. In fact, I believe every person makes a difference. Some of us are Ghandi and some of us are Hitler but most of us are faces in the crowd most of the time. However, if each of us did more kindness than selfishness, shared more comfort than complaint, the world would be infinitely better. One person’s act of kindness ripples outward. Sometimes a stranger’s kindness is the only kindness a person would see that day.
I am and believe and wish I could share so much more, but I don’t have the words to articulate more at present. I have so much to learn and so much changing left to do but I am mostly pleased with where I am at this moment in time. I feel I am on my right path, even when I can’t see what’s coming ahead. My dream for myself is to make the world more beautiful not just in a physical way but in the hearts of others.
My friend closed her post this way:
“There is always more, but this is enough for now. Thanks for listening. I will close with the question that began this whole thing: So, my friends, who are you, truly?
To this, I add namaste, which roughly means the light in me honors the light in you.
Brightest blessings, my friends.