The illusion of good enough

So here I am, writing a blog on happiness and positivity and all the good stuff in life.  Yep.  That’s me, happiness blogger extraordinaire.  Friday I had a day that felt like, “Yeah!  I’m a happy person!  I shine my light out and people shine right back at me! This is it.  I-T.  The big ‘it.’  Blogging, I think you’re the one.”

Saturday found me on the floor of my bedroom, leaning on my bed as if my life depended on it, sobbing from the depths of my very being, and wondering what made me think I could ever run a blog.  True story, friends and neighbors.

If there’s one thing I know for sure (at least about myself), it’s that one of the biggest causes of unhappiness is the feeling of not-good-enough.  I could share so many examples of not feeling good enough that if you read them all, soon you would be clinging to your own bed in despair.

Instead, I’m going to tell you this little secret:  It doesn’t matter.  You don’t have to be “good enough,” whatever that is.  Nor do I.  We are not here on this Earth to be good enough.  We come here to learn, to experience, to enjoy, to share with others, and to spread love around like cherry trees shower the ground with their petals each spring.

If you hang around me for any length of time, you will probably figure out eventually that I love Vincent Van Gogh’s paintings.  There are actually many things about him I like, not the least of which is this quote:

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

These words come to me time and again when that feeling of not-good-enough comes over me.  It’s not a quote about painting, or not exactly.  His words speak across time and space saying that so often the only thing stopping us from doing what we want to do is our own belief that we cannot do it.

Ultimately it is not about success, or accolades, or awards on the wall.  It is about silencing that inner voice and showing ourselves that there is no such thing as good enough.  It is in the doing that happiness occurs.  And it is in the NOT doing that fear grows.

It is remotely possible that someday people will speak my words to themselves and others as I now speak Van Gogh’s.  It is inevitable that one day my words will be utterly forgotten.  And it doesn’t matter.  For now, the only important thing is that my words be spoken.  What makes me think I can run a blog?  Why, the very fact that I am doing so.

Good enough is an illusion, my friends.  Do your thing and be happy.

Brightest blessings, Sunny

Photo credit: Jacqueline Williams, Hama Rikyu Gardens, Tokyo, Japan